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Posts tagged ‘Tea’

Moaning, The Weather, Tea and Maybe Gin!

There’s an English addiction
That really is rife
To moan about everything
They encounter in life
They complain about this
They complain about that
They protest and they grumble
And they go tit for tat
Be it about their work or their children
Their house or their car
They take moaning to new levels
But the complaint that’s by far
The most idiosyncratic of all
Just has to be
When they moan about the weather
Be it wet or sunny
For in winter they witter
About the cold and the rain
Then in summer the sun
Gives them cause to complain
So like ‘em or love ‘em
To be English for sure
Is to be in a state of discontentment
Where only tea is the cure!
For tea is quite magic
As it makes all things right
When the English have done battle
And there’s no gin in sight!

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Teacups and Boys

Teaching boys to drink their tea
From china cups just so
Instead of swigging down like beer
Or slurping as they go
Or guzzling as in frenzied rush
In gallons from a mug
To teach them to sip and partake
Save gulping in one slug

To handle dainty handles with
A grip and not a grasp
With pinkie tucked out of the way
For gentlemanly clasp
And saucer held ‘neath cup to catch
The drips less any spills
But sadly it is not to be
So guess we’ll get the bill!

Teacups and Boys

Time for Tea

Whether you’re a quaffer, a guzzler or sipper
There’s one thing for certain ‘bout tea
That wherever your are or whoever you’re with
It’s a drink that makes one feel so free

Yes free from the rat race and crazed life
And free from the mayhem so mad
When a brew hits your nose, you will curl up your toes
With a smile on your lips to be glad

And your pinkie will rise all in one go
With a tinge of the ‘how-do-you-do’
For this china affair of the tea cup just there
Will refresh in an instant – it’s true!

Time for Tea

 

Parlez English!

Trying to learn English
Can get you quite unstuck
For whilst in one place they will say hello
Elsewhere it’s ay-up midduk
But sojourn to western regions
And there they will greet you
With a friendly nod and welcome
Of ello my lovely – true!

And try to drink a cup of tea
Well now that’s really something cool
For in London it’s a Rosie Lee
Or a cup o’ char in Liverpool
Or kippertae in Birmingham
If you fancy tea for two
But go further north and you’ll be told
They’ll make the perfect brew!

Then think again just where you are
If you want to say ‘that’s brill’
Cos in the Black Country it’s bostin
But in London, pukka takes their will.
And a ‘good one’ is a belter
In Derby so it’s said
But up in Newcastle you will find
They’ll just say Mint instead

So speaking to the English
Is about as clear as mud!
With many dialects galore
And different phrases in their blood
But one thing that covers all bases
And counts across the miles
Is a nod of recognition
And a warm and friendly smile