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Archive for the ‘Christmas’ Category

Christmas Food Fight

“Move over,” said the sprout aloud
To the fare on Christmas Day
“For throughout the year I watch you all
In your very grand displays
And have to sit awaiting for
My turn to be the best
But wait I do with no complaint
For at least I can attest
To being the nation’s favourite
When it comes to this festivity
For like or hate me as they do
Few dare to exclude me!”

“Oh, get a life!” the Turkey groaned
“You silly Nobby green.
For it is as clear as clear can be
That I reign all supreme
At Christmas time for everyone
Knows on that day, I beat
Hands down beef, pork, lamb, goose and duck
As well as chicken meat!
For its not you but I’m the choice
At the nation’s Christmas feast
Yes, me, the Turkey, King of Meats,
Beats all other fowl and beast!”

“Now hang on,” a chestnut then piped in
“For though you may be king
Dear Turkey, and you may be picked
Dear Sprout, you small green thing!
I think you’ll find that it is me
Who most associate
With Christmas tidings every year
For I can celebrate
All roasty, come out of shell,
Appear as stuffing too
Be sweet or savoury as you know
So, beat the pair of you!”

And with that such a fight kicked off
Commotion in the larder store
As other foodstuffs pitched right in
Demanding they meant more
Yet hidden somewhere out of view
All quietly in his tin
Without vying to be the best
No arrogance or din
A little chap with starry hat
And sumptuous filled up case
Sat knowing in his heart that he,
Mince Pie, was worth first place!

For Christmas comes but once a year
And with it goodies abound
Chocolates, wine, sweets and savouries
In plenty are then found
Yet Mince Pie didn’t feel the need
To state his place for he
Knew Christmas was much more than that
And most importantly
He knew that it was more about
Each one playing his part
To bring about the festive spread
Be each a veg, nut meat or tart!

mince pies

With thanks to https://www.instagram.com/p/BcuFJ0MnuQ0/?taken-by=beckyp312 – all rights reserved to original photographer

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Christmas Crisis

It’s understood this Christmas, that Santa has a prob!
For his pole is all a-melting and the sleigh won’t do its job
For without a solid runway, the reindeer will not be
Able to get the run they need to take off easily

Well it’s causing a commotion and it’s putting on a strain
For whilst making his red-nose brighter, Rudolf plugged into the mains
And used up precious fossil fuels in his attempts at vanity
Which all the other reindeer say, is a waste of energy

But in truth they are no better for it is a well-known fact
That Dasher, Dancer and Prancer were all in on the act
And Vixen, Comet and Cupid have been seen, so it is said,
Racing about in their fast cars and painting the town red

Whilst Donner and dear Blixem have sheltered from the storms
By chopping up the forests to keep themselves all warm
And the Elves too have been busy a-stoking up their fires
In their workshops as they make the toys for children to admire

So now Santa’s in a quandary, a-worrying ‘bout what he’ll do
Stomping around his grotto and getting in a stew
For the question that he’s pondering, is what if he can’t get
Out with the sleigh on Christmas night causing a huge upset!

“Oh deary me,” he falters, with heavy salty tears
That dribble down his rosy cheeks and dampen Christmas cheer
“For no-one ever listens when you tell them what will be”
He sighs so very loudly, now not feeling Christmassy!

For in fairness, he has no answers despite pulling on his beard
For it’s bad, as bad as it can get, much as he’d always feared
And so it seems this Christmas, the only hope a float
Is that Santa’s elves get busy and build him a magic boat!

An Epiphany

Twas a few nights from Christmas
And all were in bed
Well almost all people
For so it is said
That three men on three camels
Rode the streets in the dark
Wearing crowns and their jimjams
As they rode to a park
Which to be honest would be normal
If it weren’t London town
So the camels afforded
A few scowls and few frowns
But the PJs raised no eyebrows
For no man and no mice
Turned their heads to gawp at them
For they were pleasant and nice

But the thing that was spooky
Was they’d come from afar
Carrying pots for a baby
Without GPS but a star
And then avoided the scrutiny
Of the Mi5
Who were completely oblivious
That a babe was alive
In a shed East of London
In Victoria Park
A babe with his mother
And step Dad in the dark
Where no questions had been asked
No investigation begun
No social services intervention
Surrounding this son

For though his parents declared
He was a King up on high
And that prophets foretold
He’d be murdered and die
Also claiming overtly
That the sky had been filled
With a whole host of angels
Who had sung they were thrilled
The assumption was simple
That it was all of a ruse
A story all made up
With nothing to loose
And thus none battered an eyelid
For it seemed too absurd
Or else they all had amnesia
Forgetting what they had heard

And so the men on their camels
In their jimjams and crowns
Arrived at the park
There in London town
Where they all paid homage
Gave their slightly odd gifts
In the back of a bike shed
Late on that night shift
Then they upped and departed
By the light of the star
But now in a Ferrari
Or other fast car
So that unhindered the story
Of Christmas could come true
To be told through the centuries
By both me and by you

And the camels – what happened
To each one of the three
Who went by the names
Of camel AB and C
For you might well be thinking
Were they ever seen
Again in the district
Near to Bethnal Green
Or did they disappear too
In the light of the moon
With no trace on their whereabouts
Anytime soon
But the answer my dear friends
Was they set up a pub
Serving great pie and mash
And other good grub

And so that is the story
An epiphany
Maybe not the one that
Is true history
But still a revelation
For truth, dare or lie
The wise men were once
Three kings or Magi
And be them there in London
Or in Bethlehem
That star still shines brightly
For you – not just them!
Right there twinkling daily
And is here to stay
A light in the darkness
Illuminating the way

  

Christmas Limbo

We’re in the Chrimbo limbo
And don’t know what to do
Three days between festivities
That leave us in a stew
For nothing is quite normal
Yet neither is it odd
Just some how out of sorts m’thinks
Before we give a nod
To the new year approaching
And then if all goes well
Nothing will be the same again
As on old Lang Syne’s bell
We’ll herald in a new year
And with it a new me
With promises we’ll never keep
At least past January
By which time we’ll be saying
“How fast the time now goes”
Wishing away the wetter months
Perhaps slipping in snow
And yearning for the summer
The hotter days of fun
Until we limber up again
In the Christmas home run
So for now in Christmas limbo
Not knowing what to do
Perhaps just chill, enjoy the ride
And raise a glass or two!

Happy New Year!

Bill, The Christmas Grasshopper

I spy a Christmas grasshopper
Confused as he can be
A-scratching wing in yuletide song
Though still undoubtedly
A little out of sorts m’thinks
For this is all so new
The Christmas sights and sounds and smells
Giving a festive clue

For surely one would not expect
This chap to sing per se
Believing he would not survive
The colder winter day
Yet now the days are warmer
The Earth is not so cold
This little chap is still alive
And feeling rather bold

And filled with Christmas spirit
He’s out to get his fill
And challenge Rudolph for his job
“For certain sure,” says Bill
“That when the polar caps all melt
They’ll be no other way
As Santa won’t be able to
Use Rudolph with his sleigh!”

Yet does anyone listen?
Sit up and take a note
As Bill shouts out to one and all
“Santa will need a boat”
And maybe oars and paddles
For sure, wellies as well
For whilst Bill sings Merry Christmas
He peels a warning bell

So I spy Christmas grasshopper
Confused as he can be
A-scratching wing in yuletide song
Though still undoubtedly
A little out of sorts m’thinks
For this is all so new
The Christmas sights and sounds and smells
Giving a festive clue

 

Christmas in Cambridge (Haiku)

Christmas in Cambridge
Where Santa will swap his sleigh
For a bicycle

image

Have A Heart This Christmas

Have a heart this Christmas
And share it with the rest
With kindness, empathy and care
Enduring to give your best

And spare a thought, a moment
For others unlike you
Who are struggling with this season and
Who feel a little blue

And in line with festive spirit
Reach out the hand to them
Of love, compassion, hope and grace
The star of Bethlehem

image.jpeg