They told me I was going to
A hotel just for cats
A vacation is what they said
A place I could relax
A haven for all felines
A retreat to paws awhile
To put my feet up; have a break
And go away in style!
But pffft! What do they know at all?
These humans – what big twits
They put me in this massive cage
And thought that with titbits
They’d buy me – my allegiance
Get me to drool and say
‘This place is really wonderful
What a great holiday!’
They thought I’d be contented with
The food they’d post through hatch
But I was really not impressed
For odouring my patch
Were several other felines
“Some friends for you” they said
“Get real!” I thought and turned my back
And headed into bed
And there I stayed and slept until
My human did return
At last I thought with cunning wit
Now is your time to learn
Just what it’s like! What I’ve been through
In this your cat hotel!
For to my mind it had just been
A prison right from hell!
And so when we returned back home
I put my tail in air
And walked away from them at once
As though they were not there
And did not give in to their bribes
To let them cuddle me
But gave them warning with a spit
And headed up the tree
I sat there for a while and thought
You think you’re really smart
But I’m a cat; a god some say
Good lord where is your heart?
For you can’t lock me up like that
And think that all is fine!
For I have standards and have views
And won’t stand in your line!
For if I had the power I’m owed
I’d send my humans to
That purrfect retreat like they did
And see what they would do!
I put them in a kennel
And lock them right away
And see if they would think the same!
For it’s no holiday!
A reflection on what might have been going on in my cat’s head the last few days but not reflection on the lovely cattery he stayed in!